Religion (Noun): A set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
First, I would like to thank the YouTuber Rationality Rules for this definition of religion. While not perfect, it the best one I could find and one that encompasses all major religions of the world. I would also recommend his channel to any who appreciate those who debunk bogus claims.
Now for my rant.
I was not surprised to learn that there are people out there who believe atheism is a religion. I was surprised to learn just how many of them there are and I'll be honest, it's hard not to wonder if their parents were brother and sister. Then my brain tells me that you don't win an argument by accusing someone of being the product of incest so I bury these thoughts and attempt to see if I can't convince them of their mistake. I often can't and as such these dense motherfuckers are currently the bane of my life. So I'm here, ranting to you because sometimes a rant is needed. So please read through this and help me maintain some level of inner peace.
I've defined "religion" above, but I have not yet defined "atheism". My first response to anyone claiming atheism is a religion is to define it clearly. Fortunately "atheism" is an easy word to define if you just split it up into the root word and the prefix. "Theism" is defined as the belief in a god or gods. The prefix "a-" means a lack of something. Amoral people lack morals, Apolitical people lack political views, Asexual people lack a sexuality. From this we can clearly see that the definition of "atheism" is a lack of belief in a god or gods.
Now here is where I struggle to remain calm because there is clearly no overlap between the definition of religion and the definition of atheism.
First, atheism is not a set of beliefs, it is in fact the lack of a belief. The theist will counter by saying that atheists believe there is no god, they believe in the big bang and they believe in evolution. None of these are correct. Lack of belief in god is not the same as believing there is no god. It's similar to your beliefs about the colour of my shirt. I will tell you that the shirt is either black or white. If you don't believe my shirt is black, that does not mean you believe it is white or vice versa. You likely lack belief in my shirt's blackness because you have no evidence for said blackness! As for the Big Bang and Evolution, believing in these is not necessary for an atheist because atheism makes no claims about the origin of the universe or how humans came to be.
Second, atheism does not concern itself with the cause, nature and purpose of the universe, it is only concerned with the existence of a god or gods. You will find atheists in all kinds of different scientific and philosophical schools debating life, the universe and everything. The only thing regarding the cause that all atheists agree on is that there is insufficient evidence to prove that a god did it.
Third, there are no devotional or ritual observances of any kind in atheism, we don't celebrate Darwin's birthday or pray to Richard Dawkins. We tend to leave this kind of superstition to the religious.
Fourth, there is no moral code in atheism, atheism is one position on one issue. Our moral codes come from ourselves, our families and our societies and as such, they have nothing to do with atheism.
Now I can already hear the response of the moronic saying how the definition of religion I chose deliberately leaves out atheism so this time, I'm going to use the broadest definition of religion that I can.
Religion (Noun): A pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.
Well even with this broad definition, I would argue that atheism is neither a pursuit nor an interest. Atheism is not a pursuit because it's not something people do, it actually describes something they don't do. It would be like saying that one of my pursuits is not collecting stamps. Atheism is not an interest either because there's nothing to learn from atheism. It's a lack of belief and that's it, there's nothing more.
Even if I was inclined to be generous and grant that atheism did fit the broad definition, I would point out that the definition is meaningless. If anything to which someone ascribes supreme importance can be a religion, then being a fan of Chelsea FC is a religion, as is watching the films of Quentin Tarantino. Both of these things require more of my time than atheism so my religion would either make me a Chelsean or a Tarantinite.
Ok, I think I'm finished now. Thank you all for reading.
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